Grieving Before My Hysterectomy

Your doctor has told you that you need a hysterectomy. Now, you’re having a hard time discussing your upcoming surgery with anyone. You’ve also started grieving over the loss of your uterus even before you’ve gone into the operating room.

Losing your uterus means you’ll be losing your fertility. Even if you thought your family was complete, losing your choice in the matter can be heartbreaking.

You’re also having concerns that you won’t be desirable or feminine after your hysterectomy. You’re afraid that without your uterus you’ll be less of a woman.

Your friends and family who haven’t been through a hysterectomy may not understand how you feel. They might not know what to say to help you. Thankfully, your HysterSisters understand. Many of them have had the same feelings of fear and grief over their own hysterectomies. They have some words of advice to help you cope with your fear and grief.

You’re still a woman after a hysterectomy.

Your DNA makes you a woman, not your uterus. You’ll be as much of a woman after your hysterectomy as you were before your surgery. No one will be able to tell you had a hysterectomy by looking at you. If you stand in front of the mirror, you’ll see that you look no different than you did before. You’ll be the same except without the symptoms and health problems that led to your hysterectomy.

Go ahead and grieve the loss of your uterus after your hysterectomy.

It’s ok to grieve the loss of your uterus. It’s your connection to your sisterhood of women, the mark of womanhood. It represents children for you and grandchildren for your parents. So it’s natural and healthy that you go through the stages of grief. You may want to find a way to symbolically grieve your uterus. It’s also helpful to discuss your feelings with your family doctor. Anti-depressants, counseling, writing in a journal, and talking to those who understand are helpful, too.

Keep on living.

Life can be difficult and often isn’t fair. But you can play the hand you are dealt and make the most of it. Believe that everything happens for a reason and trust that there is a plan for you. Then take it one day at a time.

This content was written by staff of by non-medical professionals based on discussions, resources and input from other patients for the purpose of patient-to-patient support.  Reprinted with permission: Grieving Before My Hysterectomy

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